Clay
by Imokru
Summary: Just who is the white robed figure Lucetta meets on her way home from church? Feedback greatly appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Lucetta was walking home from church one day when she decided to take a short cut through the woods. This wasn't normally the route she would take to get home, but now that the idea had presented itself it wouldn't go away. Voices seemed to war inside her head. The louder of the two tried to tell her that walking through the woods wasn't the safest way to get home, but the sun was shining and the birds were singing. Obviously, nothing bad could happen on a beautiful day like this. And although the other voice was quieter, almost a whisper, Lucetta recognized it. She'd been following it most of her life. So Lucetta ignored the loud voice, turned off the beaten path, and trounced into the forest.

For a while all was well. She took advantage of the silence and solitude to pray and seek out God's presence. Lucetta was so preoccupied that it wasn't until almost an hour later that she realized her quick short cut through the forest was taking far too long. Slightly worried, she looked around and became conscious of the fact that she had absolutely no idea where she was. But Lucetta was seventeen years old and had all of the confidence, or perhaps stupidity, that being a teenager implies. Instead of wasting time being afraid, she boldly strode off, veering to the right.

Lucetta was stubborn. Because of this it took several changes of direction before she would admit to herself that she was lost. However, it was only early afternoon; the sun was still beating down through gaps in the trees and the birds still twittering in the distance. She decided that there really wasn't anything she could do except keep going. And so she did.

Lucetta took more notice of her surroundings now, trying to find some sort of landmark that would tell her where she was. Silently she reviewed all that she knew of trail finding, which didn't take long. Abruptly, she stopped and sat down on a large flat rock. Conveniently located under the shade of a towering oak tree, it seemed a good spot to stop and evaluate her situation. Lucetta soon realized that she was going about this in the wrong way. The patch of forest wasn't that big and if she simply kept going in one direction she ought to come out of it in no time. She didn't know why she hadn't already, but supposed she'd somehow been walking in circles. 

Decision made, she stood up and stretched. She spun in a complete circle then shrugged. Since she had no idea where she was, one direction was as good as another. She strode off through a gap between two fir trees with a firm resolution to walk in a straight line. But it was impossible to keep going in anything resembling a straight line. It seemed that Lucetta had the opportunity to go in almost any direction save the one she wanted. Patches of overgrown blackberry plants, thickets of thorny undergrowth, and even a few streams, contrived to force her into what she knew was a circle. But she was powerless to prevent it and soon she found herself sitting under the shade of the same towering oak tree, on the same flat rock.

Now Lucetta was beginning to get worried. But she had gotten in here somehow, so there must be at least one way out. Standing up, she turned her back on the gap between the fir trees and set off once again. This time it seemed that she had found a trail. Relieved, she followed it, only to have it abruptly end around thirty feet later. Determined to get out of this infernal woods, she made a valiant attempt to continue without a path. It was a good half hour later that she arrived, tired and scratched, to sit on the same flat rock under the same towering oak tree. 

Worry had turned into undeniable fear. Lucetta hated feeling afraid, hated the way it made her feel helpless. Why had she even come into this stupid forest anyway? It didn't take long to remember. Fear turned into anger as she found an outlet for her emotions. "God, I came in here like You told me to. I wouldn't mind some help…" Even though she was mad, she couldn't yell at God. It went against everything she believed in. If she really trusted Him, why was she worried? If she really believed He was always with her, why was she feeling so abandoned? Unwelcome doubts crowded into her mind and her self-control snapped. "Are you even listening?" she yelled at the unseen sky.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am listening."

Startled, Lucetta jumped up and scanned the surrounding vegetation for the speaker. No one was in sight. She'd thought she had been afraid before, but she had been wrong. She realized that she had been only anxious before, more troubled than anything else. Now genuine fear curled and writhed in the depths of her abdomen. She wished she had some pepper spray, or a knife, or even a stout branch. "Who are you? Show yourself!" she commanded, pleased that there had been no tremor in her voice.

"Who am I?" the voice mocked. "Let's think this one through, shall we? Weren't you addressing God? And I answered. So that must make me…"

"You are not God." Lucetta stated firmly, eyes still searching for whomever the voice belonged to. 

"And how would you know? Has God ever spoken to you before?"

"Well…sort of. Not like this. It was more, well, in my head, if you know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't. But don't bother trying to explain. It would just be a waste of time. And you were right. I'm not God. I couldn't possibly be, since He doesn't exist."

Lucetta shook her head. The questions had thrown her. She didn't know how to explain God's guidance to someone who didn't already know what she was talking about. Having grown up in the church, all she'd ever had to do before was spout some well known and half understood axiom about 'feeling led' and everyone had always known what she meant. She was alone, frightened, and slightly confused. But now the conversation was on familiar ground. "But God does exist. Everyone knows that. And where are you anyway?"

"What arrogance! 'I think God exists so therefore He does and everyone else should think the same way I do'. Do you ever listen to yourself?"

Arrogance? "What are you talking about? And for the last time where are you?" 

She heard a heavy sigh, then silence. In Lucetta's opinion this sudden silence was an improvement. How dare some unseen person claim to be God? And as for calling her arrogant…No, she didn't really want to talk to the owner of the voice anymore anyway. All she wanted to do was go home. 

She was just about to try a different direction when she heard a rustling sound. The noise seemed to have originated from somewhere behind her back. Since there wasn't a breeze she knew that the sound hadn't been produced by the movements of the leaves surrounding her. Someone was now behind her. She turned, gloating smile on her face, mouth open to utter a triumphant statement, but the sentence never came. Lucetta was frozen in shock. Was this the owner of the voice?

He was tall. Very tall. Probably ten feet. He wore white robes which draped down to sandal clad feet. And he seemed to be surrounded by a faint glow. She noticed that if she focused on the glow it faded. But when she ignored the light it grew in intensity until she was forced to look at it. At which point it promptly faded again. This was very disconcerting, but at the time she was too preoccupied to be very bothered by it, thinking that it was just a trick of the light through the trees. What upset her more was the fact that he was undeniably hovering six inches off of the ground.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. The most obvious problem that I see with this is that I never described Lucetta. Unfortunately, I was in the midst of chapter 4 before I realized this and I don't really know how to fix it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I also realize that this doesn't seem to include very much scripture, and possibly doesn't seem to belong in this section at the moment. I promise that later chapters will clear this up. Thanks for being patient. I also wanted to describe briefly the way that this story originated. As many of you know, there are people who post here from time to time who seem to mock Christianity. These people portray all non Christians as wise, nearly perfect beings and all Christians as ignorant, arrogant single-celled organisms. This made me very angry and I got an idea for a bitingly sarcastic parody type story that would work the opposite way. I have since come to realize that as sweet as revenge may seem, it is better left to God. I want to sincerely apologize and ask forgiveness for anything that I have said in the past that has seemed arrogant and for any stupid remarks that I have unthinkingly made that may have hurt some of you. This story is a reformed version of the one that I wanted to write. Please keep me accountable. Thanks. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lucetta's gaze traveled back up from feet to face. His eyes were green. Well, maybe more of a blue. Or perhaps it was gray? Whatever their color, the eyes didn't seem to fit the face, which was young and smooth. The eyes seemed too old for the rest of him. They were deep, filled with the fullness of years. Sadness, joy, compassion, love, hate -- every conceivable emotion seemed to be rolling around inside steady eyes of a color that had no name. She noticed all of this briefly, and then he spoke:

"Greetings! Do not be afraid."

Lucetta stammered a moment, realized how foolish she must sound, and took what was meant to be a deep calming breath. She choked on the lung full of air and went into spasms. She wheezed a moment, and finally gained some semblance of composure. She noted that the being hadn't made any move to help her. Once again she attempted to communicate. "You, um, you…you're not who I was just talking to. Are you?" she asked hopefully.

"No, child. I am but a simple messenger from the Lord."

"Oh," she said with great relief. "So you're a messenger. Not, well, I mean…I thought that you were…um, like, you know." She realized that she was close to losing the poise she'd worked so hard to build up, so she changed the topic. "Do you have a message for me?"

He inclined his head in a graceful nod. "Yes, it is as you say. I bring tidings of hope."

She waited a moment, but he didn't continue. She wondered if it would be a breach of protocol to prompt him, and decided to wait. She attempted to look at the messenger's glow for a moment, wondering if it was really there or not. For that matter, she wondered if the messenger himself was really there or not. Perhaps she had gone insane. But she didn't feel crazy. Did crazy people know the depths of their insanity? The glow caught her eye again. The way it came and went made her unsure if she was actually seeing light or if she was just imagining it. Disconcerted, she looked away into the forest. It was then that she noticed that something was wrong. 

Throughout the entire time she had been lost in the woods, Lucetta had been able to hear birdsong. Now complete silence filled the air. As soon as she noticed this the quiet became unbearably loud, pressing heavily against her entire body, begging to be broken be some sound, any sound. No breezes rustled the leaves, no sunlight danced upon the forest floor. All was unnaturally still.

Hardly daring to breathe, it seemed to loud, Lucetta looked questioningly at the messenger. He spoke again: "The message brings to you a choice. In order for you to have time to make this choice, I have halted the flow of time. Time's normal flow will not resume until after you have made your decision."

"Do you normally go around stopping time like this?" she asked, gaping eyes darting from glow to face. It must take an enormous amount of power to be able to stop time. He gave no answer and the silence pounced. Unbearable quiet descended.

"Just give me my message," she snapped. Was it the silence that made her demand seem so loud, or had she just yelled? Lucetta knew that she shouldn't be rude to someone as powerful as the messenger obviously was, but she had been frightened more times in this one day than any other day in her memory. It wasn't fair. How much could one person be expected to endure? 

For a moment she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he cocked his head to one side and nodded. She realized that she was holding her breath in anticipation. "This is the message as it was told to me by the great Arctimedian himself, personal messenger of the archangel Micheal, who reports directly to the Lord and is the present commander of all the angelic hosts: 'Knowledge is greatly valued, but wisdom comes at greater cost. Once learned it is not easily forgotten, and is worth more than the wealth of many kingdoms.' "

This was her message of hope? Lucetta was reasonably sure that there was already something in the Bible about this. It sounded like it could have come straight out of Proverbs. They'd gone through the trouble of stopping time just to tell her that?

It was at this moment that a horrible doubt shoved its way to the forefront of Lucetta's mind. She'd been having doubts before of course, but they'd mostly been of the disbelief in the entire situation category. Now she began to doubt the messenger; not uncertainty of his existence, but skepticism of his claims. He said he was sent by God, but had he proved it? What if he was really sent by someone else? And who else was there to send him but a demon of the abyss? There were only two sides to a coin. It had to be one or the other.

She didn't know how to find out which was true. If he had been sent by one, a question would offend him. If he was sent by the other, he would lie to suit his purposes. She reviewed the encounter in her mind, recalling specifically that he hadn't helped her when she was choking. Of course, maybe he had just realized that it wasn't serious and there wasn't any need to help. She also didn't like his sudden silences. They seemed suspicious, but then, she knew nothing about normal angelic behavior. Maybe asking wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Before she could change her mind, Lucetta asked, "How do I know that you've really been sent by God?"

He looked neither offended nor especially surprised by the question. To her own immense surprise, he answered her. " I offer no evidence other than my words. You must choose what you believe based on them alone."

"Is that what you meant when you said a choice came with the message?" she asked.

"No. The choice is this: you have been given the opportunity to learn what it really means to follow the Lord. If you choose to accept this opportunity, you will gain understanding and wisdom."

"And if I decline?"

"If you choose to decline, a soul will be lost."

"A soul? Do you mean my soul?" He gave no answer. She twisted her face into a fierce glare, but he seemed not to notice. He was trying to coerce her into accepting through fear. What infuriated her was that it was working. She wasn't about to let him know that she was frightened. "I thought I was supposed to have free will," she stated in an even tone.

"There is always a choice. What you choose to do is entirely up to you."

"Some choice." There was always the chance that he wasn't telling her the truth about anything. She needed more information. "What does this 'opportunity' involve?" she asked.

"You will be told what you need to know when you need to know it. Right now you have all the information necessary to make your choice. Choose!" he replied, seemingly impatient with her hesitation.

He didn't fit into Lucetta's conception of what an angel should act like, but that was no reason to risk her soul. "All right then. I accept. What do I do?"

He smiled. "Sit on that," he commanded, pointing at the flat rock. "I will do the rest." 

She wondered if it was too late to back out. She had a feeling that it was, and sat on the rock. Before she could ask another question, a blinding flash of light caused her to shut her eyes. The light seared through her eyelids, seemed to stab into her brain and grow in intensity. Blinding pain, at least, she thought it would have been blinding if she hadn't already had her eyes closed, filled her entire body. Nothing she had ever experienced hurt half this much. Her thoughts grew fuzzy, unfocused. Her last coherent thought before the growing blackness claimed her was that she hated the flat rock upon which she rested.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucetta slowly regained awareness. The first thing she noticed was that a dull ache throbbed in her head. She didn't know why her head would be hurting, couldn't remember doing anything to it. Maybe she'd fallen. The second thing she noticed was the sound of a bird twittering nearby. It was quite soothing, and she listened to it for awhile as she waited for her mind to clear. She had the feeling that she was forgetting something very important, but couldn't seem to remember what it was. Nor did she particularly care. She felt as if she would die happy if she could just stay and listen to the birdsong, head rested on a cool flat surface.

Through a great effort of will, Lucetta opened her eyes to look for the bird. Not seeing it anywhere, she was about to close her eyes again when she noticed that she was reclining on a large flat rock. Startled, she jumped off of it. The bird stopped spouting its hypnotizing tune. Lucetta glared at the rock. She knew that she hated that rock, but she couldn't remember why. The more she thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. It was just a rock. There wasn't any reason to loathe it. But she did.

She considered a moment, but moved on to more important matters when it became clear that she wasn't going to remember why she despised the rock. Where was she? Looking around at the trees, she realized that it had to be a forest. Why was she in a forest? She came up with no answer to this. Why couldn't she remember anything? She realized that this wasn't precisely true. She knew that her name was Lucetta. She knew that she was seventeen years old. She knew that trees were trees, birds were birds, and the sky was the sky. But memories were elusive. She knew that she had a past, she just couldn't remember what it was. She supposed that she ought to be worried about this, but couldn't summon up enough emotion to be worried over the lack of worry.

Deciding that it wasn't important to remember right now, she stood up and brushed the dirt off of her clothes. As she turned to leave, the insidious rock caught her eye. She shuddered, and walked off between two fir trees into the forest.

She soon forgot about the oddly menacing rock. Green light filtered through the leaves on the trees, creating a dream-like atmosphere. Everything was alive and growing. The air seemed heavily perfumed with the sweet fragrance of spring blossoms. Looking up, Lucetta saw a squirrel looking back down at her. She stopped and watched as it quivered nervously for a moment, then scurried off through the interwoven branches. She continued walking.

The forest seemed to have no end. Lucetta wandered, breathing in the sense of serenity that flowed around her. Eventually, she began to grow hot and thirsty. Her surroundings turned from beautiful to mocking. Preoccupied with her need for water, she stopped noticing the life around her. 

Disheartened, Lucetta stumbled on through the grass and dirt, over rocks, around trees, until she came to a place where a mantle of dead leaves cloaked the ground. She noticed them at once, the only sign of death she had seen in the idyllic maze she'd been meandering through. It almost seemed as if two paths stretched before her. One continued on with the same atmosphere of the garden-like forest. The other was a trail of death, a system of decaying leaves fallen from now barren branches. 

Lucetta's head swiveled this way and that as she attempted to see where the paths led. It was an impossible endeavor, but she wasn't overly worried by this. The paths were heading in roughly the same direction, and it wasn't as if she had a destination in mind anyway. She looked around again at the perfection of the rest of forest and wondered what had caused this scar on the landscape. It was one more question to which she had no answer. She was tired of not knowing anything. "Perhaps," she muttered, taking a few steps toward the dead leaves, "If I walk the path I'll find out more about it."

A vague odor filled the suddenly cool air. It grew stronger as she strode toward her goal, but Lucetta was determined now. She hadn't found any answers while wandering through the forest, and she sensed that if there were any answers to be found they would be found somewhere along this trail. She stepped into the first of the dead leaves.

It was as though a switch had been flipped, like the reverse of turning on a lamp. This was watching the darkness swallow the space once occupied by light. This was becoming blind, remembering that you could once see but now being limited to blank nothingness. This was walking into a wall of fog and off a cliff when you could have went around it. What had she been thinking? 

Lucetta turned to re-enter paradise, but no matter which way she turned she could no longer see the other path. She knew that she had taken only a few steps on this path. She should have been able to get right out. She had to get out. She would die here. She didn't know how she knew this, but she was certain it was true. Already her limbs felt heavy and her breathing strained. Panic's cold fist clutched her mind and heart in a death grip and she sank to the ground amid the dead leaves, closed her eyes and prepared to die.

Her mind drifted to her last meeting with her mother. She briefly saw the scene as it had happened. Saw her mother's blue eyes fill with tears once again. Heard the anger in her own voice as she demanded to know why her mother was crying when she had caused the events that now made her weep. And she heard the door slam and saw herself run out of the house, not waiting for an answer. Her mother had made her bed and now she could soak it with tears as far as Lucetta had been concerned. She had felt no desire to stay and talk to the woman who had made a mess out of her own life and the lives of her children. Besides, if she had stayed she would have been late for church. 

The memory was painful enough, but what happened next made it a thousand times worse. The scene should have ended there, or continued with her memory of the church service. Instead she saw her mother, tears rolling unchecked down her face, on her knees, alone, in a darkened room. Instead of hymns she heard the echo of a broken whisper resounding in the otherwise still room: "Oh God, how long will you punish me? I'm sorry. I've lost them all…" Whatever else her mother might have wanted to say was lost in her choking sobs. The scene faded from Lucetta's mind.

This was impossible. There was no way she should have been able to remember something that she hadn't seen in the first place. That it was a memory and not her own imagination Lucetta was certain. She would have pictured her mother calling one of her friends rather than calling on God. Her mother liked to gossip. She also liked to cast blame anywhere but at her own feet, and her friends were the sort who would sympathetically encourage her not to feel guilty. Seeing her mother's vulnerability brought an unwelcome tendril of empathy to Lucetta's heart. Hatred was comfortable and familiar. She did not want to like her mother right now.

A sudden revelation struck her: she had remembered something! Lucetta searched her mind for more, hungry for the past that once again eluded her. Nothing remained, except the echoes of her own angry voice and her mother's sobs. She winced. It would be easier to believe that she had just imagined the whole episode. Perhaps approaching death had clouded her mind and created unrealistic visions of days gone by. 

It was then that a second revelation struck her: either death was taking its time approaching, or it wasn't coming.

Author's Note: Sorry it has been so long since I've updated this. I've been experiencing the joys of life as a college freshman and haven't had any time lately. But I think I'm getting into the swing of things now. Please leave me a review to let me know that you're reading and what you think. Thanks!


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